Pay it forward

Yeah, I know it's mushy and probably manipulated.

But I'm sitting here in tears, anyway after watching the final scene of the now-old movie Pay It Forward with Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt, "Calling All Angels" on the soundtrack. Sentimental music bypasses my brain and goes straight to my heart. But it's OK; I need to reach down and feel this soft spot now and again.

I invite my coaching clients to watch the movie if they haven't seen it. I tell them that to "pay it forward" is truly all that is required of our lives. Often they believe they have no gifts to offer. But I hold up a sparkling mirror so they can see their brilliance and talents. And gradually, they begin to see what I see - a perfect and whole human being with incredible impact in the world, an impact that is essential for healing and growth.

I realize that I, too, am paying forward the unfaltering love that Victor has shown me through these 17 years. A little after 7 tonight, we went out for a quick dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant. A friend joined us, a woman who has returned to GardenSpirit Guesthouse for the fourth time - she loves it here.

After we ordered our food, Victor turned to me and said: "You know, I was thinking on the way home that I really love my job. But as much as I love what I do, I love coming home to be with you even more.

"And I realized that a lot of people don't feel that way. People love their jobs but they don't want to come home; they'd rather stay at work than be at home. I think that's really sad." And he leaned over and gave me a kiss.

My friend sighed and said "Victor, if you weren't already married, I'd want to marry you myself!" Truthfully, most of my close friends tell me over and over that Victor adores me. They notice it. I rarely do. Probably because I bask in the light of it all the time (well, OK, not ALL the time...we are human after all).

I guess the movie reminded me that my job is to "pay forward" the devoted love and support that I have received. Without experiencing it firsthand, I would never be able to notice it in my clients, my family and friends, acquaintances.

What I know for sure is that each of us, without exception, has a place in the world. That space can only be filled by YOU...and YOU...and yes, YOU. And who you are is absolutely necessary and important. All the world asks of us - of me - is to fully express yourself, to be fully who you are. Just as Victor lives his life to the tippy-top. Just as a fictional 12-year-old boy in a movie launched a Pay It Forward movement.

Tears dry. Smiles returned. I hear Victor coughing in our bedroom. Think I'll go snuggle up close to him and appreciate who he is. Wow.