Blue mustard/green catsup

I've been threatening to write this post for months. It's one of my favorite diatribes when faced with the absurdity of today's marketing world.

Blue mustard. Green catsup.

I can't believe it. Even for a major corporation, this was really crass. I mean, trying to appeal to the kids out there who will think it's gross or cool or "sweet" to squeeze a splot of green catsup on a plate of French fries. And can you imagine the color clash of blue mustard on a pink hot dog? Yuck.

All in the name of the All Mighty Market Share.

Let's face it. You can't change the taste of mustard much. Oh, they try. Flavored mustards line the shelves of the gourmet food store. I end up throwing out a bunch of teeny little jars of it that come in those gift baskets at the holidays.

But regular old mustard - YELLOW mustard as it is known on the generic brands - is, well, generic. It's almost like the Heinz and Hunts people have lost their patent and need to do something to jazz up the same ho-hum condiments.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen the blue stuff on the shelf lately. Maybe it got moved out of my line of sight: down to eye level for six-year-olds.

As it is, there are 18 different brands of catup and mustard fighting for grocery store top billing. Mostly its a packaging war: glass bottles, plastic bottles, upside-down bottles, combo bottles for picnics. So what do I buy? The Kroger brand with the red twist top that always leaves a tiny crust of dried mustard on the top.

Just last week I noticed that one of the Big Brands has come out with a mustard container that has a tiny lid that snaps over the hole, thus eliminating that dried crust. Might be worth a try. But first, I need to buy toothpaste. Now if I can just remember which one of these 156 varieties I bought last time...